Bohnhelm

Pretty Man.

2012-02-19T21:58:00.000-08:00

Big Al.

2012-02-19T21:55:00.000-08:00

Does anyone want to hear a joke?

2012-01-30T19:37:00.001-08:00

Gold Platinum.

2012-01-05T16:05:00.000-08:00

The Japanese live action superhero series Blue SWAT aired in 1994. Blue SWAT, Grey SWAT and Purple SWAT received a super-arsenal, including a modified Beretta M9 called "the Dictator," to fight an alien invasion by the self-described "Space Mafia." It was as close to a cop show as a superhero show could get. Adult fans loved Blue SWAT. The toy version of the Dictator, which spits out plastic shell casings when the trigger is squeezed, remains a valuable collector's item. However, everything that made Blue SWAT fresh also made it boring to kids, the key demographic. To resolve this problem, a new character was introduced: a friendly alien with magic powers named Gold Platinum.

The precedent set by Gold Platinum amuses me. If you're getting too old for this or find yourself two days from retirement, you'd better make sure you're in not in Japan if you don't want to promptly become best pals with a magic space alien.

Plotting in Costume

2012-01-05T10:11:00.000-08:00

Cesar Romero, Burt Ward, and Adam West.

R. Sikoryak Loves Bohnhelm.

2012-01-05T10:08:00.000-08:00

"I visited your blog when you recommended it to me two years ago. I really liked it, but I can't remember the link." - R. Sikoryak

A Crumb of Ry.

2011-11-29T17:13:00.000-08:00

Bohnhelm returns once again to its trusted muse, Ryland Ianelli, seen here at a housewarming party greeting his new roommate and mutual associate of Bohnhelm, Jai Granovsky. What vice- and hand- related puns can you conjure for this smooth, swag young man with a smoke and a drink?

Wonder Beard.

2011-06-25T18:09:00.000-07:00

All Better Now.

2011-06-25T18:08:00.000-07:00

I promised my friends I was all better, and now I've got to live with that decision.

More Like Cake Deco.

2011-06-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

What else would I be doing?

2011-06-12T15:31:00.001-07:00

My Father the Clown.

2011-05-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, I am visiting my father for the first time in a year. This is what I think my vacation will be like.

A Six-Cylinder Courtship.

2011-05-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

from the Bohnhelm library.

William Snowden Esquire, "sole heir of the late Commodore Snowden" and automobile enthusiast, falls in love at first sight of Miss Marian Standish, who mistakes him for a cabbie. William plays along in the hopes of a shot at wooing her, giving his telephone number as that of a cab service. When Marian rings up for a ride while William is away entertaining relatives, his butler Collins attempts to maintain the ruse by sending out William's car with Charlie, a mechanic, at the wheel. Before he can be filled in, William takes Charlie for a thief. After stealing back his own car and almost getting himself, his mechanic, and his love arrested for it, William discovers that he and Marian belong to the same country club. After Marian agrees to let William drive her to Primrose Court, a rock nicks a hole in the gas tank, causing the car to slowly catch fire. From a safe distance, William and Marian watch the "eleven thousand dollar" automobile slowly turn into a "blazing furnace." William admits loving Marian more than his car and convinces her to address him by his first name as they walk to the country club.

When I struggled to find an interest in reading, I sought out subject matter that I thought I would enjoy. This turned out to do the trick. (Yes, sadly, E. S. Field 1, J. D. Salinger 0). Courtship's vision of New York in 1907 is as exciting as it is quaint ("Times Square! The old name was good enough for me. What were we coming to, anyway? It used to be Longacre Square."). It's got old-tyme hijinx (the speed limit in New York is ten miles per hour), ridiculous millionaire behavior (at one point William must find his way in the world penniless because his butler forgot to put his wallet in his pants) and hilariously dated dialogue ("Ain't he the goods, though? Ain't he the candy kid?"). I enjoyed this book, but I've never read any of its sort before, so I wouldn't know if it was an inept, cookie-cutter offering for its time and within its genre.

I bought my copy of A Six-Cylinder Courtship at a college book sale last year. Well-preserved copies of this book appear for sale online at new-release prices and lower with surprising frequency. If you If you are at all interested, getting copy of your own seems a fairly simple feat.

My Biggie Pony.

2011-04-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

Sharing kindness
It's an easy feat
But money looks sweet
Where?
In the Isuzu Jeep

"Draw Me in Your Alec Style."

2011-04-14T16:09:00.000-07:00

That's what Caitlin McGuirk asked me.

"My Alec style?" I asked.

"Yeah, like the iconic Alec portrait that's everywhere."

So I did.

"That's great," she said. "I look so creepy."

Casey Bohn rolls in it.

2011-03-15T11:15:00.000-07:00

I've got everything I need and nothing to say.

Part of Mah Boi

2011-03-08T15:02:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine directed me to a remix of "Part of Your World," a song from Disney's animated feature The Little Mermaid. "Part of Mah Boi" is most captivating for its surreal mixture of the titular mermaid and Bohnhelm's beloved King Harkinian, whose bearded, rumpled face replaces Ariel's in the photo at left. The remixed song itself is not without its bright spots, most notably the beginning:

"Look at mah boi. Isn't it great? Wouldn't you think my sword is enough? Wouldn't you think I'm a king? A king who has dinner?"

This was the first time I have heard "Part of Your World" in a long time. It was easily the time where I was paying the most attention. I don't believe the song has ever gotten a stronger emotional reaction out of me, either. For whatever reason, The Little Mermaid never made much of a dent in my identity, nor any other Disney animated feature for that matter.

I'm not opposed to liking Disney films, quite in favor of the notion in fact. I'm sure someone willing to spread the Disney love will always be within reach. And yet, it's just one more thing I've been meaning to get around to.

My general contempt for aquatic life has always made "being a mermaid" a hard sell as far as personal fantasies go, even before you factor in a mermaid's total inability to use the internet. If I were Ariel, you can bet I would rock a serious biped envy.

Watch "Part of Mah Boi" here.

Watch "Part of Your World" here.

But Not Too Sad.

2011-03-03T13:47:00.001-08:00

Searching For His Mind.

2011-02-24T19:18:00.001-08:00

You Found Another Phone Booth.

2011-02-24T10:13:00.000-08:00

But there was still no telephone.

Perry Bloom's Pony Sale

2011-02-21T10:47:00.001-08:00

Give Yoder Space.

2011-02-01T13:13:00.003-08:00

Nate Wooters.

2011-02-01T13:13:00.001-08:00

Dakota McFadzean.

2011-02-01T13:12:00.001-08:00

In the Land of the Pig.

2011-01-09T21:44:00.000-08:00

Wiseman.

2011-01-09T13:20:00.001-08:00

Alec Guiness.

2011-01-09T13:19:00.000-08:00

Bohnhelm 2011.

2011-01-01T18:54:00.002-08:00

Art By Ry.

2011-01-01T18:53:00.001-08:00

Let Yoder Lie.

2011-01-01T18:52:00.001-08:00

Fred Infertilestone.

2011-01-01T17:53:00.001-08:00

Sea Rope.

2010-12-27T17:53:00.001-08:00

Stimulation Funnies.

2010-12-26T14:22:00.000-08:00

I can alphabetize invoices in an auto repair shop quite confortably. But the ambient noise of a lively house party drives me insane.

Christmas Day at Bohnhelm.

2010-12-24T21:52:00.000-08:00

When Casey Bohn was a lad all of six years old, he paid a visit to Santa Claus at his favorite shopping mall. Santa's Village was on the ground floor, facing the backside of a glass-walled elevator. As he took his trip to the second floor, Casey watched Santa make conversation with Mrs. Claus. Casey wanted dearly to hear their north pole shop talk.

Boimah

2010-12-12T11:40:00.000-08:00

"Robin mah chum, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!"

Boitlejuice

2010-12-12T11:38:00.000-08:00

"Lydia mah babe, this guy is what all true warriors strive for!"

Harkielian

2010-12-12T11:35:00.000-08:00

"Stromburg mah boi, these teeth are what all true warriors strive for!"

Come... Let Us Adore Him.

2010-11-27T13:54:00.001-08:00

Pure Love.

2010-11-24T13:29:00.000-08:00

Psychiatry Funnies.

2010-11-16T07:05:00.001-08:00

The beginning of my novel

2010-11-13T07:58:00.000-08:00

"My father always said he ought to give me a whippin'. He would add that he was too kind a man to give it to me, then conclude that I still probably deserved one, anyway. My adult life could be summarized as the search for a man unkind enough to give me that whippin' that my father would always prescribe but never dispense."

I'll finish it, but you've got to pay me money first.

Bone Diver.

2010-11-10T12:35:00.001-08:00

Smiling Man.

2010-11-10T12:32:00.001-08:00

Long Strive

2010-11-05T15:16:00.000-07:00

"Mah boi, this sequential artform is what all true warriors strive for!"

Cee-Lo.

2010-11-05T15:14:00.000-07:00

"Everybody is somebody, but nobody wants to be themselves."

Suicide Funnies.

2010-11-04T18:23:00.001-07:00

"Electric Kiss," by Stefani Germanotta.

2010-11-04T13:39:00.000-07:00

Though doubtless now one of the most polarizing figures in popular music, until a few nights ago my opinion of Lady Gaga had been a too-large serving of indifference flavored by a too-small portion of bemusement. What made the difference was hearing "Electric Kiss."

"Electric Kiss" was performed under Gaga's real name, Stefani Germanotta, at a talent show put on by her alma mater, New York University. As a message, "Electric Kiss" seems either to be an impassioned protest anthem against the cult of celebrity, or a pop song peddling some always-popular simulated rebellion.

For Casey Bohn, "Electric Kiss" contextualizes Lady Gaga's career as pop superstardom of the sort produced by an intelligent, observant, and highly talented overachiever. In the Miley Cyrus age of lab-tested, committee-approved appeal, here is a tireless young lady running the experiments for which she is the guinea pig. Celebrity is a role, and Lady Gaga is a performer.

The argument that Lady Gaga's work is more style than substance I cannot refute. More important and satisfying to discover is the implication that Gaga is capable of more but has made being commercial her top priority. She doesn't care what people want; only how to give it to them.

The Silver Surfer: Why I Love Him.

2010-11-03T14:57:00.001-07:00

Turner.

2010-10-30T12:59:00.000-07:00

An Awful Thing.

2010-10-27T14:11:00.001-07:00

Mysterious Me.

2010-10-27T14:09:00.001-07:00

Universad.

2010-10-18T13:27:00.000-07:00

Incantrix X.

2010-10-11T13:04:00.000-07:00

My revision of a Bill Volk character design. This isn't the final design, but I had fun drawing this, anyway.

I would have never drawn this drawing if not for Bill Volk, departure from his original concept it may be. The name is his property entirely.

Miniature Supercomputer.

2010-09-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

The Wickedest Man in San Papel.

2010-09-24T10:59:00.000-07:00

The New Ailment.

2010-09-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

Radiant Jon.

2010-09-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

Spider-Man, Hero to Japan.

2010-09-15T18:17:00.000-07:00

Sweet Toth.

2010-09-03T13:47:00.000-07:00

Alex Toth is a highly regarded name among certain circles of American cartoonists. In the age of American comic books in which he worked, one's style was determined by balancing the scales of how well one could draw and how fast one could draw. Given the quality of his work and the speed at which he produced it, both exceptional by the standards of his peers in the field, Toth was for many the man who had it all, and has been praised, envied, and worshipped across the decades. In light of Toth's gilded legacy, it was comforting for me to discover today that he apparently hated everything that he drew, that he couldn't buy his own hype, considerable as it was.

By chance, I became possessed by the wild hare to draw my portrait with a brush pen, taking a page from Toth's playbook. I don't think this drawing is in itself good, but, in the tradition of Toth, it looks great relative to the time and effort I invested in it.

Heed My Words On Your Own Tweet Time.

2010-08-23T17:22:00.000-07:00

Bohnhelm now has a Twitter feed. Follow it to ensure pellets of written entertainment in the Casey Bohn mode fire daily into your line of sight. Every tweet guaranteed to feature proper grammar, spelling and punctuation.

A New World Report.

2010-08-19T08:14:00.000-07:00

Purse.

2010-07-13T13:04:00.001-07:00

Why Casey Can't Read.

2010-07-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

...And That's All That I Am.

2010-07-10T15:48:00.000-07:00

Ultraman 80.

2010-07-08T07:01:00.000-07:00

Eiji Tsubaraya was the originator of "suitmation," the special effects technique which actors perform on a set of miniatures in order to appear giant. Tsubaraya was the special effects man on the original Godzilla film and continued in that capacity for the following eight films. At the same time, Tsubaraya developed his ideas for a friendly giant character who battles evil monsters.

This became the television series Ultraman in 1966. Ultraman was a law enforcer from Galaxy M78, known to his kind as the Land of Light. He travelled to Earth to protect mankind from alien evil. To this end, he assumed a human guise and became a member of Japan's space alien investigation body the Science Patrol. In the final episode, a nearly defeated Ultraman was rescued by his brother Zoffy and taken back to the Land of Light.

A number of sequel series followed, each featuring a new relative of the original Ultraman traveling to Earth, fighting aliens, and secretly joining the newest version of the Science Patrol.

Ultraman 80 was the eighth chapter of the "Ultra Series," running from 1980 to 1981. In a refreshing change of pace, 80 disguised himself as a ninth grade teacher, and was only a part-time volunteer member of his Science Patrol, the Utility Government Members.

Ultraman 80's Wikipedia entry is informative but sarcastic. My favorite line is, "One has to wonder when he has time to grade papers."

This video seen above was made for use in karaoke.

For me, Ultraman 80 is all about contrasts. Ultraman 80 is beating up monsters, but he's so nimble and acrobatic about it, almost as if he would just do gymnastics if there were no monsters to fight. And the song is so lighthearted and upbeat, sounding more like a sitcom theme song than a superhero theme song.

Lyrics, offered by a YouTube commenter:

Ultraman 80, Ultraman 80,

He came to us from a star.

Do you love someone?

That is what it is to be alive.

Do you have courage?

A heart that won't lose to any circumstance.

The man who came from a distant star

Will teach us about love and courage.

Ultraman 80, Ultraman 80,

Ahhh

He came to us from a star.

This is Your American Comic.

2010-07-04T12:42:00.001-07:00

Digital Gold.

2010-06-27T14:09:00.000-07:00

Friend and peer Jose-Luis Olivares produced a color version of pages one and two.

Omens.

2010-06-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow's Burden.

2010-06-25T17:41:00.000-07:00

Bros Don't Cry.

2010-06-25T17:35:00.000-07:00

Just a Cracker.

2010-06-24T11:35:00.000-07:00

Person X.

2010-06-23T13:27:00.001-07:00

Rights to Life.

2010-06-22T08:26:00.001-07:00

Eli Escher versus Miss Vera Tung.

2010-06-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

A Vast Love.

2010-06-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

A Liar Nose.

2010-06-19T06:28:00.000-07:00

Perry Bloom.

2010-06-18T11:35:00.001-07:00

Adam Kurvo Calling.

2010-06-17T16:27:00.001-07:00

Industrial Ape.

2010-06-16T15:45:00.000-07:00

Long Stretch

2010-06-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

I recently drew myself in the style of Alec Longstreth, instructor at the Center for Cartoon Studies. Alec is a testament to the strength of willpower, and the malleability of identity, the most intimate and personal reality of all. By instinct, Alec is a sad man. He has chosen to make himself a happy man.

"It's not just a choice," Alec once told me. "It's a daily battle." A conflict that Alec wages successfully every day I see him. If I lived in an Alec Longstreth comic, as simulated in the above illustration, it would be easy to be happy. My fingers would be more rubbery, I would smile and wink more often, and a white sphere would bob inside of my mouth whenever I spoke.

The Seat of Villainy.

2010-06-13T13:42:00.000-07:00

Quenlid Thorpe.

2010-06-12T18:36:00.000-07:00

I'm a Genius.

2010-06-11T16:25:00.000-07:00

If you can't tell, that's your problem.

Tom Farrow.

2010-06-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

When a Prayer is Answered.

2010-06-10T10:41:00.000-07:00

Attention.

2010-06-09T12:32:00.001-07:00

At the Aquarium.

2010-06-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

This is a comic where an octopus with my father's face leaps out of its tank and suffocates me. I often avoid aquariums for this reason.

Sticks and Stones.

2010-06-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

I drew this last summer, when I was living with my parents in Tennessee. They wanted me to come home so I could return to my job of the summer previous at our local Super Target, only to discover the store had filled all their job openings in April. While I waited for the job applications I filed elsewhere to bear fruit, my father demanded that I prove my worth to him as a dependent by drawing during the day, on a schedule identical to his own working hours.

This was one of the first products of that creative mandate. My father was displeased by it. He did not like how I drew myself "like a scarecrow" in the first panel. He also did not understand the gag, assuming it was some esoteric in-joke from my campus. He told me that because he did not find it funny, it was not properly suited to general audiences, and that I must change my comedic worldview in order to succeed financially as a humorous cartoonist.

The Sad Clown.

2010-06-06T12:05:00.000-07:00

One of the most ambitious comic projects of my childhood was The Sad Clown, a series of twenty-five comics, each between one and three pages each, plus a front cover, that I drew between the ages of nine and ten. In September of 2009 I sketched these drawings of the protagonists during a nostalgic afternoon.

The Sad Clown was an unnamed circus clown who could cry enough tears to fill a room in moments, an ability he developed as a consequence of the severe depression that inspired his career change from clown to clown-themed superhero. He steals a cape from the Strongman of his resident circus, and subdues the Ringmaster that employs him in a fight. At some point after this, the Sad Clown acquires the ability to fly, a motorcycle called the Clown Cycle, a car called the Clown-o-Mobile, and a home base, the Funhouse, in an unnamed coastal suburban community. The Sad Clown wore his clown makeup and superhero costume at all times. His true face was visible only when he washed it to reapply the makeup before bed. Flashbacks to the Sad Clown's childhood show he wore his trademark makeup pattern and wig for nearly all of his life. Although his father runs a bubblegum factory and his mother is a painter, both of the Sad Clown's parents wore similar clown makeup at all times.

I had always considered the Sad Clown a hardy, blue-collar sort of character. His war on crime and crusade for common decency quickly dissolved, leaving him to become an everyman in a strange land.

In the third issue, the Sad Clown met Beatnik Boy, a mime who wore a cape and was also able to fly for unknown reasons. He is seen above, quoting his first line of dialogue in The Sad Clown No. 3. Beatnik Boy spoke freely and did no miming, outside of silently disappearing from the series about halfway through. Beatnik Boy's name came from the Cow and Chicken episode "Send in the Clowns," in which a family of mimes is erroneously identified by Dad as "beatniks." This led me to believe that "beatnik" was a synonym for "mime."

The comic's final issue featured the Sad Clown de-activating an artificial second sun created by the tanning-obsessed Tan Man. For this feat, the Sad Clown was awarded the "Nobel Puzzle Piece Prize" by a man who resembled Albert Einstein.

"Secrets" by will.i.am

2010-05-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

In 2002, Cartoon Network released Dexter's Laboratory: The Hip-Hop Experiment, through Kid Rhino, another appendage of parent company Turner Entertainment. The album featured noted hip-hop and rap artists performing songs about the Cartoon Network animated series Dexter's Laboratory. "Secrets" was will.i.am's contribution to The Hip-Hop Experiment. It was featured in a music video produced for air on Cartoon Network, but for this video the track was abridged and slightly re-arranged, to inferior results. The video above contains an extended version. Bohnhelm has yet to confirm whether this version of "Secrets" was the album version or simply a scrapped iteration leaked onto the Internet.

i was never able to find the album. Perhaps my local Wal-Mart was simply too risk averse to carry it, or perhaps The Hip-Hop Experiment was a casualty of broader audience confusion by distributors. Pop music albums for children not marketed to parents for their cultural or educational value were a novelty at the time. The first notable example of such an item, the original volume of Kidz Bop, was released only a year prior. That the ad for Kidz Bop offered direct purchase by phone order suggests a certain lack of confidence in retail distribution as a venue for such a product to reach its market. The extent to which this has changed in as many years is astounding. Clean music produced by young adults and teenagers in the style of conventional pop for the tween market is a niche so large it has bled into the mainstream. Justin Bieber, a young man creating a tame equivalent of popular hip-hop and R&B, has collaborated with artists like Usher and Ludacris, the artists whom Bieber represents a bowdlerised alternative to.

The Yum Yums.

2010-04-01T08:41:00.000-07:00

Throughout the 1980s, toy makers in the United States successfully launched a number of stuffed animal lines themed around a conceptual motif or gimmick. The first of these were Kenner's Care Bears, based on a series of greeting card illustrations by Elena Kucharik. Each Care Bear was defined by a single emotion, represented pictorially on their stomach with what was officially dubbed a "tummy symbol." The success of Smurfs and its derivatives proved that playing one-note characters off of one another translated well into children's television, so after the release of two television specials and a theatrical feature film over a three-year period, a Care Bears animated series was produced by Nelvana in 1986. Warranting an animated series became the ultimate goal of those who made similar themed stuffed animal lines.

Unfortunately, the gimmicks of other lines did not afford the easy writing decisions that Care Bears's emotion-based characters offered. One such example is the Yum-Yums, a line of scented stuffed animals, each one smelling of a flavor associated with candy, mostly fruit scents. The opening sequence of its 1989 television special, a Hanna-Barberra production, is a careless, ill-considered effort that invites unpleasant conclusions from the very beginning. (Viewable here.)

In the special, titled "The Day Things Went Sour," it is established that Lucky Lemon Lion can cast magic spells after swallowing lemon drops. It is likely that Lucky Lemon Lion is teleporting away to somewhere, but because the viewer does not see him reappear at the beginning of the next shot with the same sound effect and smoke cloud animation present, Lucky Lemon Lion appears to be unhappily willing himself out of existence. Compounding this concern, it is not clear that Lucky Lemon Lion has only eaten candy that sustains his magic powers, rather than some manner of poison or bad medicine. The next shot pans over a scene of waterskiing on a pink lake of an undetermined and presumedly sweet substance, and finally, long after a needlessly frightening conclusion can be made, to Lucky Lemon Lion enjoying the inside of a giant gumball machine with an African-American youth. By this point, despite his eventual and unceremonious reappearance, lasting distress could easily have been caused among the young children that were the Yum Yums's target demographic. The reactions write themselves. "Look, dear, he's fine now." But this is cold comfort for the child who has already been distressed, the awful scene still fresh in their minds. The most saccharine and harmless world conceivable has been tainted by an existential horror.

Though there are times when assigning child psychologists to the writing staff of a children's cartoon is an unnecessary or even detrimental decision, it is productions like "The Day Things Went Sour" that prove the value of this oversight.

Mah Boi.

2010-03-18T15:51:00.001-07:00

The Legend of Zelda: The Faces of Evil.

2010-03-16T19:09:00.001-07:00

In the early 1990s, the Nintendo company entered into an ultimately fruitless partnership with Philips. Only Philips' end of the bargain ever materialized; software for its CD-i system based on existing Nintendo franchises. Three of these games (Hotel Mario, The Legend of Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon and The Legend of Zelda: The Faces of Evil) have developed infamy on the Internet for the animated interstitials (called "cut scenes" by video game enthusiasts) that would be viewed before certain stages of play. These cut scenes feature bizarre animation and highly exaggerated vocal performances. The low picture and sound quality of these cut scenes is a part of their appeal, and coincidentally has made them easily disseminated over the Internet for many years. In some circles, the CD-i cut scenes are so ubiquitous that a reference need only consist of a single word.

Most popular among fans of this footage are characters that were created expressly for these games, such as the King of Hyrule (dubbed "King Harkinian" to distinguish him from other Kings of Hyrule in the franchise, usually known simply as "The King" among discussions of the CD-i videos) and Gwonam, the King's advisor (named only in CD-i instruction books, and often referred to by fans as "Squadalah Man" for his memorable exclamation). The King's first line in Faces of Evil, "My boy, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!" is one of his most celebrated. His pronunciation of "My boy" is consistently spelled phonetically as "Mah boi" among fans when quoted textually. The quote has come to be associated with this still image:

Thus, "Mah boi" can be invoked visually with a tall and narrow opened mouth and a raised right index finger held near to the face.

The Dark Side of the Rainbow: "The Great Gig in the Sky."

2010-03-05T22:05:00.000-08:00

In the early 1990s, discussion began in the IRC chatroom "alt.music.pink-floyd" about a supposed "synchronicity" with The Wizard of Oz (1939) and Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon (1973). The product of watching The Wizard of Oz with the audio replaced by two plays of The Dark Side of the Moon is known as The Dark Side of the Rainbow, in reference to the song performed by Judy Garland in the film, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour has remarked upon the pairing as the idea of "some guy with too much time on his hands." Alan Parsons, the producer of The Dark Side of the Moon said in 2003, "[I]f you play any record with the sound turned down on the TV, you will find things that work."

The Dark Side of the Rainbow stands best as a communal cultural thought experiment. It invites projection, speculation, and discussion. One of the most celebrated instances of synchronicity in The Dark Side of the Rainbow is the beginning of track six, "Money," which begins just as Dorothy enters the Land of Oz and the film switches to color. However, often overlooked is the footage aligning with the track before it, "The Great Gig in the Sky."

Referred to while in production as "The Religion Song" and "The Mortality Sequence," "The Great Gig in the Sky" features the nonverbal vocalisations of Clare Torry, meant by Pink Floyd to represent the acknowledgement of mortality and conception of the afterlife. In The Dark Side of the Rainbow, it accompanies the sequence in which a Dorothy, alone in her home, is swept away from Kanas by a tornado. The archivists at Bohnhelm can only wonder why more has not been said of this song which primarily features a woman screaming aligns flawlessly with scenes of a woman having a frightening experience.

This sequence of The Dark Side of the Rainbow can be viewed here.

Analysis:

The track begins softly and ominously just as the signs of the coming storm are heeded by the people of Kansas. Gerry O'Driscoll narrates the farmers' efforts to prepare for the black destruction looming on the horizon. No one present is afraid of dying. A horse on the loose becomes the first shot in a war of human emotions, signaling an end to civility, and the supremacy of the primal as death is flung across the countryside. As Dorothy is left to face nature's full fury alone, Clare Torry's vocalisations begin, growing ever more impassioned and frantic, reaching their apex as a window knocks into Dorothy, sending her down to her bed. From there Torry's voice softens and dons a more contemplative tone, seeming to invite the mystic circumstances to come. Anything can happen now. Torry's subdued howls become a conciliatory cry for reason in Dorothy's tunnel of the inconceivable, the terrifying and the fanciful. Clare's vigor returns as Almira Gulch becomes the Wicked Witch. Danger is born anew, and so is Dorothy's will to survive. After the sight of this new villainy, the terror of riding the winds has been cheapened, and no matter how the furniture may shift and shake, it's just not as threatening as it was before. Clare's voice softens as the house begins its dainty descent. With the landing, it grows heavy with the burden of enlightenment. She no longer needs to sing Dorothy's confusion and anger at a world eager to destroy her. She knows what has happened in her heart.

The Max Headroom Incident.

2010-03-05T11:51:00.000-08:00

In 1987 the Coca-Cola company began airing ads featuring the British character Max Headroom. Headroom, purportedly the world's first artificial intelligence-based television host, was portrayed by actor Matt Frewer in heavy makeup behind a blue screen, with speech distortion effects and a computer-generated background added in post-production. The character was named in a play on the sign label "MAX. HEADROOM," the United Kingdom equivalent of signs labelled "CLEARANCE," either of which referring to the height of a door frame.

On 22 November 1987, at around 11:15 PM, the airwaves of Chicago CBS affiliate WTTW were interrupted by a pirate broadcast by a man wearing a Max Headroom Halloween mask along with a beige suit. Fighting his way into the living rooms of uncounted Chicago area households, this mystery man assumed the guise of the most artificial ad spokesman of the day to speak frankly upon the twilight of the twentieth century.

"Your love is fading! ... Oh, I just made a giant masterpiece for all the greatest world newspaper nerds."

Doozy Bots.

2010-03-03T11:06:00.000-08:00

Bandai and Toei's Gundam franchise was a heavy-handed cautionary epic devoted to portraying a grisly outer space war fought by piloted giant robots as realistically as possible. SD Gundam was Bandai's response to Gundam's popularity with very young children, presenting franchise's appealing robot designs in more lighthearted scenarios for audiences uninterested in Gundam's message or reverence for minutiae. The term "SD" stands for "Super-Deformed," and describes the large head and squat, stubby proportions applied to the robots of Gundam for these more child friendly series. SD Gundam as a brand would come to rival its parent in Japan in the 1980s.

In 1989, efforts were made by the Sunrise company to import the SD Gundam brand into the United States market. Though multiple SD Gundam animated series had been produced by that point, it was understood that their anime aesthetic would be unappealing to American audiences. Thus, imported and repackaged SD Gundam toys were to be promoted by way of a completely new animated series called Doozy Bots. The only remaining evidence of the production is this video, identified by the character of its narration as being furnished for a licenser's trade show. The end result comes off as a studious and careful effort to produce "American appeal" by people who understand the concept only in abstract, academic terms. Some points of interest on display:

1. The football replacing the "o" in "Bots" in the logo.

2. Comical sound effects dubbed into dramatic scenes of sports being played to make the show seem wackier and more lighthearted overall.

3. Wipeout and Tank are shown jumping a football goal with their skateboard and wheelchair, respectively.

4. Tank, the wheelchair-bound African-American, turns into Guntank, a robot with tank treads rather than legs.

Discouraged from producing original content for the U.S. market by the failure of Doozy Bots and an adaption of Sailor Moon using live action and Western animation, experimentation with English dubs of the original anime began at the turn of the decade, contributing the beginning of an anime fad in the United States which would last throughout the decade and into the next.

"The Bots Master" Intro.

2010-03-03T05:45:00.000-08:00

The Bots Master was an American-French co-production that aired from 1 September 1993 to 1 May 1994. Set in the year 2025, the series features prodigy inventor Ziv "ZZ" Zulander and his band of robots called BOYZZ, or Brain Operated Young Zygoetopic Zoids. The majority of these BOYZZ went by a name ending in two z's. In each episode they did battle with Lewis Leon Paradim (often referred to as "LLP") and his terrorist associates at the Robotic Megafact Corporation (Curiously contracted as "RM Corp," rather than "RMC"). In addition to his BOYZZ, Ziv Zulander commanded a fleet of five vehicles that could combine into a giant robot, the Jungle Fiver. Though the name is a tasteless allusion to "jungle fever," I assume the writers were confident that children would recognize the pun but believe "jungle fever" to be a fictional illness contracted in black and white movies about jungle explorers in pith helmets. In an effort at attention-grabbing gimmickry, each episode featured a sequence filmed in 3D that could be viewed with a set of 3D glasses packaged with each Bots Master action figure. Interestingly, the series was animated by one "AB Productions," while toys were manufactured by one "C&D Toys." It's the kind of coincidence that only real life would be so unimaginative as to perpetrate.

The Bots Master stands as a definitive example of a series that was well-animated but over-calculated for optimal marketability, yielding forgettable, mediocre pablum.

The lyrics to the theme song, courtesy "The World's Greatest Bots Master Page" (Reformatted for Web 2.0 and with mistakes recognized by my own listening corrected):

You know the planet is in a jam

A diabolical plan of only one man

Lewis Leon Paradim, an international punk

and his army of 3As are his piece of junk

Yeah! Well, he can't fade us

He forgot about the BOYZZ and the guy who made us

Ziv Zulander, master of BOYZZ bots

We undermine the plot

We're the Sports BOYZZ and we like making noise

Commander Jock has some intelligent droids

I'm Cook, and I can take the heat

But don't forget, you are what you eat

Call me Watzon, let me swivel and say

I rock as a doc and I save the day

D'Nerd is my name and the brain is my game

I'm Genesix, any problem I can fix

My name is Ninjzz, the battle hinges

On how I use my Zword and what it singes

I'm Ziv Zulander, ZZ for short

You know I fight the Corp

I'm the Bots Master

Listen up, you all, we're the BOYZZ Brigade

When it's Laser Time, put on the 3D shades

"Laser Time, boys!"

Vintage Darth Vader Halloween Costume.

2010-03-02T05:52:00.001-08:00

New on display at Bohnnhelm is this handsome bodysuit from a vintage child's Darth Vader Halloween costume. There was a time when licensed Halloween costumes consisted of a rubbery face mask and a sleeveless plastic smock bearing an image of the character its wearer supposedly portrayed. The wearer's neck became the line between fiction and metafiction, between a world where you are Darth Vader and a world where Darth Vader is on your shirt. The origin of this bizarre concept is currently being sought by the most esteemed researchers at Bohnhelm. But until the answers arrive we can only gaze upon this pristine specimen of the phenomenon and wonder. Case Bohn, for one, would like to believe that this Halloween costume design template came at the request of focus groups of actual children, and that children were once made happy by having these costumes to wear.

"I Think I'm Gonna Kill Myself" by Elton John.

2010-03-01T07:20:00.000-08:00

This charming little spirit about a misanthropic teenager contemplating suicide appeared on John's 1972 studio album Honky Château. His fifth album, Honky Chateâu was written in four days. In 2003 it appeared in Rolling Stone's "Five Hundred Greatest Albums of All Time" at No. 357.

On the album version, John's narrator demanded a nightly visit from Bridgette Bardot. Here substituted is Irish radio and television personality Terry Wogan, who on Christmas day of 1979 made his second televised address on behalf of the BBC-organised charity Children in Need.

Closed for Maintenance.

2010-02-23T09:18:00.001-08:00

In the chilly winter afternoon you pass by Bohnhelm to see that it has been closed for maintenance. At first you are sad that there will be no Bohnhelm to comfort you in these coldest and darkest of days. But then you realize how glorious its seasonal re-opening will be in the spring. The sky will be blue and the sun will be bright and you will treasure every idle instant that you are alive and free. With friends and strangers in the halls of Bohnhelm, the greatest museum on Earth, you will welcome a new season of warmth and prosperity. Not long after that your American school will let out for an American summer. You will be to conduct yourself as you were meant to. In the center of your unburdened days will be Bohnhelm, towering over you and the bowl-shaped suburban kingdom over which you rule. When the sun is at its highest and brightest you will see the world in its true colors, and water will taste its sweetest.

Note: This is not the reason for the drought of new exhibits at Bohnhelm. This is simply something that you remember experiencing as a child.